Independence

Lelia is becoming so much more independent! It is very encouraging to watch her play on her play mat by herself for 20+ minutes grabbing things and pulling on her hanging toys. It is truly amazing to watch all of the growth and development that begins and increases with each passing day. I have to admit the independence she is displaying is a little scary at the same time. She has hit her head 2 times this week sitting up on her own. What I am realizing is that with more indepence comes more opportunity for pain...now only physical pain but coming soon will be the realization that discipline will be a regular part of her life as well as emotional pain coming soon after in relationships with others: consequences are a fact of life that we all deal with, some better than others, some harder than others.

As time goes by Tom and I have to increasingly "back-off" to let her learn things the most effective way possible, on her own. We will continually try to protect our precious daughter through teaching and guidance but when all is said and done, most of the things she will learn will be through trial and error and a large part of that is failure. Just like Lelia, we will be learning how to make our mistakes as parents. My prayer is that we will learn and grow with each test we are faced with. The stakes keep getting higher in life for everyone but now our failures are affecting another life who is innocent of our mistakes.

This experience makes me realize just how much we need God in our lives for guidance and grace when we mess up. Thankfully He loves us, all of us, with an unconditional passion that Tom and I feel like we understand better now that we have a child but realize we will never fully understand until we are with him because he loves perfectly. Increasing independence is a reality for all of us...may we all aproach the trials of life with humility (realizing we don't know everything and when we mess up, taking responsibility for them no matter what the cost) and with our best try to please the One who deserves everything from us because he gave us everything in his perfect son Jesus.

I pray that I will get right the trials and tests I am faced with...especially with regard to loving others. I fail daily at realtionships and hope that appologizing and asking for forgiveness is healing to those whom I have hurt. The closer I get to God the futher away I realize I am to making the mark that he demonstrated to us when he walked in the flesh. I just want to fight hard to continue to grow and rely more on the only One who can change me from the inside out. I am so grateful that my identity isn't wrapped up in how well I do life but the fact that I love and accept Jesus as being my Savior...I would be completely unable to be good enough to please Him by myself.